Not *My* SELF

stop_sign-please-justThis weekend I saw this SELF magazine article on Oprah’s weight loss. So, I decided to write them a letter! I’m over magazines posing as advocates for female empowerment when they are just more of the same oppression.

Dear SELF,

Your article on Oprah’s weight loss was disappointing, however not surprising.

Oprah has not found a permanent weight loss cure, she has simply found a new way to diet. And like the other 95% of people who attempt to lose weight in any way, she will most likely regain this weight in 3 to 5 years. If she manages to develop the eating-disorder-like tendencies that the few people who sustain weight loss beyond this time frame do, she may be slightly more successful, but her life will then revolve around her diet. Is this what we expect one of the world’s most successful women to be concentrating on? Her diet? This expectation is unacceptable for any woman.

The science on weight loss is now clear: all but a tiny fraction of people who attempt weight loss will regain some, all, or even more of the lost weight in 3 to 5 years after the initial weight loss is achieved. Even Weight Watchers, by their own data, cannot show better results. A weight loss-focused mindset drives the restriction/disinhibition cycle and does not yield significant long term weight loss or better health for most people.

I am a former SELF subscriber. I read your magazine faithfully in my most restrictive dieting days, and unfortunately, the weight loss-centered advice in your magazine aided and abetted my extreme disordered eating. Women don’t need to change their body shapes to achieve their best selves, but I know this is what sells magazines. The dangled carrot of a “better looking” or smaller body will always ensure you have subscribers. A focus on body appearance plays women small, though; it robs them of body autonomy and the time and energy to pursue real equality and power in society (Did you know women don’t have this yet? Surely you do.).

I’d like to invite SELF magazine to change it’s editorial focus from weight-centered to non-weight-and-body-appearance-centered. I’d like to invite you to take a truly feminist, body positive stance which does not include the promotion of weight loss or the adherence to cultural beauty standards (because why do we even need beauty standards? Are we not so much more than this?). We can have discussions about health that do not involve weight loss or our appearance. I’d like to invite you to embrace true size diversity by featuring, regularly, women of all shapes, sizes, colors and abilities in your magazine.

There are a growing number of us who refuse to any longer play the weight loss game, and have chosen a weight-neutral, non-diet path to health. We have been damaged by the diet industrial complex but refuse to let it rob of us true health and vitality any further. There is no magazine* for us.

Supporting the weight loss paradigm does not improve women’s lives. Oprah is not better because she’s smaller. Someone temporarily losing weight on Weight Watchers or any diet is not revolutionary, it’s more of the same. I hope you will decide to do better by women someday.

Glenys Oyston, RDN
Dare To Not Diet

If we want change, we are going to have to start demanding it, loudly, publicly, and all the time. It’s tiresome. I don’t want to do it, but I’m going to anyway. Will you join me?

*Except one magazine!

Ready to Stop Dieting and Start Living?

If you’re ready to stop dieting, or already have, and would like some help with your intuitive eating skills, check out my new online course and group coaching program, Stop Dieting, Start Living, which will help you do just that. Class starts February 6! Registration is open until February 2 or until the class is full.

Free Group Coaching Call January 28

I’m hosting a free group coaching call on January 28 at 10 am PST. The topic is “Why can’t I stop eating even when I’m not hungry?!” I’m only sending the call details to people on my newsletter list so sign up here if you want in on the fun.

Join our Facebook group community!

We have a very cool little community going on over at Facebook called The Dare To Not Diet Society. Members give each other support, cheer each other on in their non-diet journey. I’m there too! It’s a body positive, non-diet, non-weight-loss focused community, and we’d love to have you.

Dietitians Unplugged: Melissa Toler Wants to Change the Body Positivity Conversation

Cover2Dietitians Unplugged is back with a new episode! We interviewed Melissa Toler after she sent out a recent newsletter about how she was tired of the mainstream body positivity conversation. Melissa tells us all about her journey from a weight-loss centered body coach to a weight-neutral one, and what she sees missing from the current body positive movement. No punches pulled here!

Listen on:

Libsyn
iTunes
Stitcher

Ready to Stop Dieting and Start Living?

If you’re ready to stop dieting, or already have, and would like some help with your intuitive eating skills, check out my new online course and group coaching program, Stop Dieting, Start Living, which will help you do just that. Class starts February 6! Registration is open until February 2 or until the class is full.

Free Group Coaching Call January 28

I’m hosting a free group coaching call on January 28 at 10 am PST. The topic is “Why can’t I stop eating even when I’m not hungry?!” I’m only sending the call details to people on my newsletter list so sign up here if you want in on the fun.

Join our Facebook group community!

We have a very cool little community going on over at Facebook called The Dare To Not Diet Society. Members give each other support, cheer each other on in their non-diet journey. I’m there too! It’s a body positive, non-diet, non-weight-loss focused community, and we’d love to have you.

Dietitians Unplugged Podcast: Round-up

Cover2Needless to say, I’ve been remiss in posting the last few Dietitians Unplugged podcasts here, on my blog. I’m particular about things being complete, so I’m going to tuck the last few eps into one neat and tidy post for you all to find some day in the future when you’re casting about the internet, looking for some vintage HAES podcasts…

Or if you’re not caught up, now’s your chance!

New-and-super-cool episodes coming soon!

 

Episode 18: Binge Eating Disorder Conference Live Report

Aaron and I had a few minutes during the conference to chat about what we learned. Read more about how the conference went here.

Episode 17: Intuitive Eating and Weight Gain

You asked and we answered! One of our listeners asked us if we felt Intuitive Eating promoted weight gain. Find out what we had to say.

Episode 16: Teaching Kids the Truth: Weight Stigma and Body Image

Aaron and I team up with Carmen Cool, MA, LPC and a very wise teen who schools us on body image and young people and how they are unwittingly reinforced by adults.

As always, you can find us on iTunes, Stitcher and Libsyn.

 

Ready to Stop Dieting and Start Living?

If you’re ready to stop dieting, or already have, and would like some help with your intuitive eating skills, check out my new online course and group coaching program, Stop Dieting, Start Living, which will help you do just that. Class starts February 6! Registration is open until February 2 or until the class is full.

Free Group Coaching Call January 28

I’m hosting a free group coaching call on January 28 at 10 am PST. The topic is “Why can’t I stop eating even when I’m not hungry?!” I’m only sending the call details to people on my newsletter list so sign up here if you want in on the fun.

Join our Facebook group community!

We have a very cool little community going on over at Facebook called The Dare To Not Diet Society. Members give each other support, cheer each other on in their non-diet journey. I’m there too! It’s a body positive, non-diet, non-weight-loss focused community, and we’d love to have you.

 

Stop Dieting, Start Living

stop-dieting-no-nameWhen I was dieting, I had little time for anything else but thoughts of food and exercise: what I could eat, what I couldn’t, when could I eat again, and what would fit into my days’ “points” allowance; when I would exercise, how I didn’t want to but had to, and how many calories I would burn on the stair-stepping machine (which I hated).

At the height of my dieting mania, when I was “acceptably” slim, I chose to pursue a career that I thought would support my dieting obsession: registered dietitian.

Imagine that – I chose a career that would help me diet. So not only would my personal time be filled with food preoccupation, so would my professional time. Looking back on this, I am astounded. When I was much younger, I had wanted to be other things: writer, fashion designer, even comedian (despite my intense performance anxiety). Where did that person go once on a diet?

It is only now that my dieting obsession is over that I occasionally wonder what I might have chosen for my mid-life career change other than dietitian. I still do love food and nutrition (no longer in an obsessive way) and I’m glad, ultimately, that this was the path I chose because I also love the clinical aspect of what I do, and thankfully the HAES® philosophy has given my practice so much meaning and substance. But imagine if I’d had more mental freedom in making this choice. But making a career choice during what was basically a mental health crisis is not how I wish that had gone down.

In the years that I became so restrictive with food, I had few hobbies. It’s not because I’m not an interesting person – I AM – but because planning all my meals and then fretting about how long I could withstand my hunger was first priority. I had a brief flirtation with pottery, and though I’ll never be any sort of visual artist, I wish I had continued on with it because it was truly the most meditative thing I have ever done while still creating something. Figuring out how to simultaneously eat food I liked while eating the fewest calories took first priority.

Anyway, once I stopped dieting, I had to spend some time figuring out how to eat again. It took me about five years to learn how to eat instinctively. Five years! So even after I stopped dieting, I still had to spend time learning how to not-diet. That part was better, because at least I learned how to make bagels and French baguettes and kimchi.

Once I was done learning to eat, I finally had time again. So I started writing this blog, and then I was asked to write by a magazine, and then I was asked to speak and I started to become an expert in my field of non-dieting. I took hula hoop classes and dance classes and learn to boogie board and travelled without worrying how I was going to stay on my diet. I ate dessert when I felt like it and got big swishy skirts I never would have worn even when I was thin because I worried they’d make me look fat. I started to really live in a way that I was afraid to do even when I was thin and never good enough. In between, I stopped dieting, and started living.

How much time is dieting and worrying about weight taking away from you? What creative or intellectual or fun or generous pursuits have you put aside because you had to think about food, or had to negotiate constant hunger and longing? What great or satisfying things would you do if you were freed from this diet prison?

Only you can answer that.

Ready to Stop Dieting and Start Living?

If you’re ready to stop dieting, or already have, and would like some help with the not-dieting (so you don’t have to spend five years doing it on your own like I did), check out my new online course and group coaching program, Stop Dieting, Start Living, which will help you do just that. Registration is open until February 2 or until the class is full.

Free Group Coaching Call January 28

I’m hosting a free group coaching call on January 28 at 10 am PST. The topic is “Why can’t I stop eating even when I’m not hungry?!” I’m only sending the call details to people on my newsletter list so sign up here if you want in on the fun.

Join our Facebook group community!

We have a very cool little community going on over at Facebook called The Dare To Not Diet Society. Members give each other support, cheer each other on in their non-diet journey. I’m there too! It’s a body positive, non-diet, non-weight-loss focused community, and we’d love to have you.

You Don’t Need Another Diet

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You could go on another diet. OR you could eat a cupcake!!

It’s the New Year – also known as National Diet Month, if you believe all the commercials we’re being bombarded with every five seconds right now. There’s a reason the diet industry ups its game right about now. It plays on the newness of the year, and people’s desire to feel a “fresh start,” especially after hectic end-of-year celebrations that leave some of us feeling drained.

Why not get a whole new you?? “Be better this year!” “Impress everyone with your ability to fit into misogynist, ableist, and racist cultural beauty standards this year!” Ah, imagine if we only saw this kind of truth in advertising!

But you don’t need another diet. Another diet in which you may lose some weight – 5, 10, 20 pounds, maybe more – and then gain it all back because that’s what everybody does. Because that’s what our bodies are designed to do. Because being on a diet sucks, and ends up robbing you of the energy to do anything but diet.

On another diet, statistically speaking, you will end up the same weight or even heavier than you started, and you won’t even get your money back. That’s kind of like buying a new TV, watching it for a week and then it suddenly stops, and when you take it back to the store, they blame you for its malfunctioning. Um, no.

And you don’t need a whole new you. Your current you is A-OK. Maybe you’re still struggling with your eating – overeating, underrating, emotional eating – or with accepting your body, but that’s okay. Dieitng doesn’t actually cure those problems; it creates more of them.

This year, if you want to do something – anything – for your health, consider a kinder path. Consider honoring your appetite, nurturing your body with acceptance, giving yourself permission to eat what and how much you want. Health at Every Size® and intuitive eating are great places to start.

Whatever you do, you don’t need a diet that will only drive a bigger wedge between you and your appetite, between your brain and your body. You don’t need a new you.

Stop Dieting, Start Living Online Class/Group Coaching Program

Registration is now open for my 5 week-long group coaching program and online course which starts Monday, February 6!

WordPress blips suck

Hey y’all – once again WordPress published my unfinished blog post rather than schedule it, so you got an email about my next post a few days early. I’m going to publish this post next Monday so look for the actual finished post in your inbox then! Until then, happy new year!

PS – I’m launching my new group coaching program and online course then and I’m super excited about it – I hope you are too!

Dieting as a Distraction

img_20161203_145718083_hdr_31363430996_oIs anyone else physically and mentally exhausted by the end of the Julian calendar year? This year was no exception for me, and with the addition of an emotionally draining U.S. election season that did not end in a way I had hoped it would, well, I went into a bit of a tailspin.

Actually, it was a huge, tornado-style tailspin.

Long story short, I ended up in a mildly depressed funk. I’d been here before, in the past, and I knew it would only last a few weeks during which I would remain a reasonably high-functioning human. But it doesn’t feel great. I do not sit will with the yuckiness of malaise.

As time marched on, I began to find myself preoccupied with my body. Specifically, how it looked. I found old, distant feelings arising – namely, dissatisfaction. As a result, I suddenly felt the tug of an old relfex: the desire to diet to control my shape and weight.

Now, luckily for me, I have a few things going in my favor: 1. I committed way back to never diet again. I never wanted to experience the bitter combo of futility, sadness and hunger that dieting left me with. 2. I have wholly committed to honor the wisdom of my body and have promised to fully support it in whatever shape and size it takes, even if it’s a size and shape that takes me out of the realm of societal acceptability. So dieting again IS NEVER an option for me, and for that, I’m so glad. I know that feeling bad about my body in these instances is the symptom, not the problem.

I started to remember other times I experienced depression, and my reactions in those times.

At the age of 22, when my mother was dying, I turned to dieting to distract myself and exert some form of control on my clearly out-of-control life.

At the age of 31, when I found myself in a committed, long-term relationship that didn’t satisfy me, I turned to dieting to get my “perfect” body to solve my unhappiness.

It’s obvious that dieting or a smaller body could not possibly have solved either of those problems, yet that’s exactly what I did to try to ease my suffering because diet culture tells us that we only need to lose weight to make our lives better. So it wasn’t surprising to me at all that this reflex arose at this time of sadness and insecurity and fear. The urge to deny myself my most basic need – food – in order to gain control at a time when I feel I have no control over what happens is so strong, but makes so little sense and is not kind.

Instead of diving back into restriction, though, I decided to just sit with those feelings. I made space for them. I pondered them. I thought about how that solution worked out for me in the past (spoiler alert: not so well. I still had to deal with all those messy feelings and situations in the end, and I was hungry on top of it). I knew I would not diet, and I knew I would have to sit with feelings of body and life and world dissatisfaction and just do my best to deal with it.

In enough time, I felt myself emerge, ever so slowly, from the darkness of these thoughts. I have a great support system at home and that helps. I did some gentle yoga to get myself back in touch with the physicality of my body — to sense what it felt like rather than what it looked like. I’m living with uncertainty without using starvation as a proxy for control. I’m caring for myself in constructive, not destructive ways. My body is not actually the problem, and I don’t need to try to change it.

If you’re finding yourself going down this particular road, stop and give yourself a hug. Think about what you really need. You’d be better off in a Snuggie with a hot cup of tea on the couch doing some comfort-TV binge-watching than trying to diet again. If you need to reach out for help, do that. Just know that dieting and weight manipulation is not real control, it’s not real power, and it just weakens us further. That’s not something that any of us needs in hard times.

Tired of struggling on your own?

Exciting news! I’m launching a 30 day online course/group coaching program in February to help you get free of diet mentality and further along toward normal eating. I’ve created this very affordable option because so many of you have wanted to work with me one-on-one but it’s just not within your budget right now. Make sure to get on my newsletter list as this will be the first place I send out more information about the course, and enrollment will be limited and offered to those on my list first. Get on my list here.

Dietitians Unplugged News

Missing us? No fear! We’re just on a little end-of-year hiatus until January. In the meantime, catch up on all our episodes on Libysn, iTunes, or Stitcher.

How Full Should I Be?

pizza
I now know when to stop. Even when it’s sooooo good!

I get asked this by people quite a bit, and those of you also in your non-diet, internally regulated eating journey might be struggling with the same question: “How full should I be?”

I answer this question, sometimes perhaps infuriatingly so, with, “Well, that depends on how full you want to feel.”

Pause. I read my questioner’s mind. Not helpful.

This answer, though, rescues you from the pat solutions that diets try to offer and don’t work. Think of the last diet you can remember – did it ever mention anything about respecting fullness? Or honoring your hunger? Probably not. It was likely much more concerned with teaching you how to trick your body out of feeling hungry and craving satisfaction (which never worked).

I know your frustration; after all, I was the person, back in my dieting days, who could not stop eating my favorite food, pizza, until I was absolutely uncomfortably stuffed. I had to work my way through this process, too.

So, a while back I wrote about experimenting with my fullness, having learned that there was a difference between being “no longer hungry” and the varying levels of fullness that one can experience. I decided to see what “no longer hungry” felt like as a stopping point.

I experimented and experimented. It took so much experimenting in the year and a half since I wrote that post. Here’s what I learned:

It’s not enough for me to be just “no longer hungry.” I do hit that spot while eating, I recognize it, but it does not satisfy me most of the time.

I also learned I don’t like to be really full either. So somewhere in between “no longer hungry” and “really full” is a sweet spot that I like. The beauty of this is that I get to decide what level of fullness satisfies me most.

What I figured out is that if I stop at “no longer hungry,” I’m hungry as hell in an hour. When I’m at work, I really need a meal to satisfy me for at least a couple of hours, because I don’t enjoy snacking every hour (though sometimes in my woeful lack of preparation for lunch at work, this is the reality).

If I go to “really full” – the kind of fullness that puts me on the edge of discomfort – it ruins my appetite for the next meal. That’s no fun at all.

It also depends on the meal I eat. If it’s an especially good meal, I might eat a little more than I usually do, if I feel like it. If it’s a meal that turned out just meh, then I’m probably going to eat just enough to get by to the next meal or snack.

I discovered that, as I progress through a meal, how the food tastes in my mouth works in tandem with how my stomach feels to tell me when to stop.

All of this I found out through, as I said, a lot of experimentation. Mindfulness, intuitive eating, internally regulated eating, normal eating…whatever you want to call it – that’s what I practiced. Paying attention to my meal, to my body, over and over again.

I wouldn’t have needed this experimentation if we lived in a world without diets and I’d grown up with structured family meals, if we lived in a world that had no particular expectations for the way women’s bodies looked and I had never tried to lose weight to meet them. But we don’t live in that world, so experimentation it is.

This is the hard part for those of us moving away from the diet mentality — learning to negotiate the gray areas of “What do I like?” “How much do I want?” “How hungry do I want to be?” “How full should I get?” And the hardest one: “How do I let go of judgment around food and my body?”

The answer to all of that is to keep practicing. Just keep being curious with yourself. Intuitive eating isn’t magic; we’re just learning skills, and skills just take practice. A lot of frickin’ practice.

And then one day, it isn’t intuitive eating anymore; it’s just eating. It’s not hard. You’re not thinking all the time about food and what to eat and how much to eat. You plan a bit. You feed yourself. Then you do other stuff.

It’s a beautiful thing.

So anyway, that’s how full I want to be when I eat. A little more full than “no longer hungry;” less full than “really full.” It’s hard to describe it in words but it doesn’t matter because it’s the thing that works for me and I just have to know it when I feel it. You’ll have your own thing, and even if you’re not there yet, eventually you’ll know it when you feel it too.

Tired of struggling on your own?

I’m launching a group coaching/online course in February to help you get free of diet mentality and further along toward normal eating. I’ve created this very affordable option because so many of you have wanted to work with me one-on-one but just can’t afford it. Make sure to get on my newsletter list as this will be the first place I send out more detailed information about the course, and enrollment will be limited. Get on my list here.

Dietitians Unplugged News

Missing us? No fear! We’re just on a little end-of-year hiatus until January. In the meantime, catch up on all our episodes on Libysn, iTunes, or Stitcher.

Mindful Eating in Stressful Times

cream-puff-free
Take some time to savor something good.

Have you been stressed out lately? With a tumultuous U.S. election just behind us, and the holiday season now bearing down on us, you might find yourself a little…frazzled. How then, exactly, are we supposed to keep our cool around food in stressful times?

My HAES colleague Nicole Christina, LCSW is here to tell you how in this, my first guest post!

You may be saying to yourself “Please don’t speak to me about another self-improvement project and don’t tell me to do it in “three easy steps!”” Women are so busy trying to work, grocery shop, make meals, transport kids to activities, and run the household, that there’s nothing simple or easy about living in today’s time starved world. The thought of trying one more method of improving one’s life may feel impossible. As women, we’ve never had as many choices, but as a society we haven’t figured out how to have a career and a sane home life. And for those of us high achievers striving to do it all well, burnout is always lurking just behind the corner. Being burned out doesn’t lend itself to practicing a new skill. Burnout lends itself to eating stale cookies in the pantry when nobody’s looking. But allow me to state a case for trying a practice that pays high dividends, is free, and is profoundly satisfying. Some of my clients have even called it life changing.

Mindful eating is a practice that is simple, but not easy. The goal is to get us off of autopilot, and help us stay in the present as we eat. Because we eat multiple times a day, we get many opportunities to practice slowing down and savoring our food, as well as the present moment. We do this slowly, imperfectly, and playfully. Instead of another task, mealtimes become a way to bracket our hectic lives with a few moments of precious stillness. It’s a sweet pause that is proven to do wonders for our mental state, as well as our physiology.

Here are some of the reasons that I recommend Mindful Eating to my clients who have conflicted relationships with food (and show me a woman who doesn’t!):

  • Mindful eating actually helps us digest better. Our bodies do not assimilate nutrients when we are eating in stress mode, and that includes checking our Facebook feed.
  • Mindful eating brings a calmness that can work its magic into other parts of our lives–it feels so good, and so different from the norm that often people want to try mindfulness in other aspects of their lives.
  • Eating becomes more enjoyable so it’s possible you may be satisfied with less. We taste more, savor more, and appreciate more. Appreciation and gratitude are closely linked with happiness.
  • Our bodies have some regular time to power down throughout the day. Evidence suggests that mindfulness reduces inflammation and decreases pain.
  • We learn how to manage the stress in our lives, which helps us develop a sense of mastery and competence.
  • With practice, mindful eating helps us build a relationship with one’s self. We are the experts on our own bodies, and that realization feels powerful.

Here’s a promise. Try the following exercise, and tell me if you don’t feel more calm. The next bite of food, or sip of beverage, take some deep breaths. Notice the textures, the flavors, even the temperature. Put away the screens. Allow your body and brain to rest and be still. Bring your whole attention to what you are eating or drinking. When you become distracted, simply bring your attention back to your eating again. The is a practice that is imperfect, fluid, and will get easier with time. It’s one thing to read about, it’s quite another to experience.

In this demanding, overstimulating world, mindful eating allows us to restore ourselves, and respect our need to run on human time, rather than electronic time. It’s a practice that runs counter to the multi-tasking, fast food, grab-a-protein bar lifestyle. It’s radical in that it resists the impulse to try to go faster and be more efficient. It reminds us that we are human, and eating is supposed to be satisfying and pleasurable. That’s why we have taste buds.

Nicole Christina is a psychotherapist specializing in food and eating issues. She recently launched a new webcourse: Diets Don’t Work! But Mindful Eating Does. You can find her on NicoleChristina.com.

Want to work with Glenys? Click here.
Need more free non-diet support? Join our Facebook Group!

We’ve got a nice little members-only, non-diet group going on over at Facebook, and we’d love for you to join. Click here for your invitation.

Dietitians Unplugged Podcast – BEDA conference live!

Aaron and I did a “live” update from the Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA) Conference in San Francisco last month. We had so much fun there, we wanted to share a little bit of it with you.

Listen on Libsyn, iTunes, or Stitcher.

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A World Without Diets

elevator
An elevator full of HAES awesomeness. Thanks Fiona Sutherland for letting me use this photo!

If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you might be someone who finds it a total bummer that while you’re trying to live diet-free, everyone else isn’t. Everyone else seems to be on some sort of diet, and they’re telling you about it all the time. Everyone else is worried about their weight or how they look, or how their health is affected by their weight. It’s sometimes hard to imagine a world without diets.

Well, this weekend, I got to experience it. I had the great fortune to attend the Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA) 2016 conference in San Francisco. My friend and podcast co-host Aaron Flores convinced me back in May that I had to go – lots of people in the HAES® world would be there and it would be a great opportunity to meet them. And also to learn a lot! So I signed up to go and waited with great anticipation for the time to arrive.

As the date approached, many of us HAES® dietitians and therapists who hang out together in social media started planning some casual get-togethers. I managed to book a restaurant whose main feature was that it would take a large group of 15. I thought only seven people at most would end up coming out (I always figure on a 50% no-show rate for any social event taking place in California).

The first night came and we all met up at the conference’s reception. It was soon apparent that at least 15 of us were headed for dinner together, and maybe even more! At dinner, I was seated across from Evelyn Tribole, one of the authors of the book Intuitive Eating. Yes, someone who I considered one of my personal heroes was seated right across the table from me. Gulp! I hoped I didn’t accidentally drop food on my shirt. Also seated near me were Dana Sturtevant and Hilary Kinavy of Be Nourished, Fiona Sutherland of Body Positive Australia, Marsha Hudnall of Green Mountain at Fox Run, Kathleen Bishop of Body Peace and Liberation – all people who have become my online friends and mentors and who are part of a strong online HAES® community. Aaron was beside me. Dr. Linda Bacon, author of the book, Health at Every Size (and of course, the nutrition instructor who introduced me to HAES® and basically changed my life) was also there. All of these people (and more whom I will name below so you can check out their work) are people I consider personal role models and heroes. They are people who fight against the weight-centered paradigm that is so thoroughly prevalent in our society (despite the total lack of evidence to support it) simply because they know it is better for us not to diet. I was thrilled and almost a little emotionally overwhelmed to be in these folks’ presence.

As we were tucking into our dinner (and I was able to relax a little), I suddenly had a thought, which I then verbalized: “Isn’t it so great that we’re all just sitting here and eating good food and no one is talking about how ‘bad’ or ‘guilty’ they feel for eating, or how they need to eat less so they don’t gain weight? How novel!” It was something I haven’t experienced since the 1990s, when I thought I was just about the only one dieting (which I did secretly most of the time). This time, even I wasn’t dieting. How refreshing! We all ate as much as we wanted of the foods that we wanted. There was a wonderful variety of food on the table – not just salads without dressing as I’m sure some people imagine dietitians to eat!

That night, and in fact during the whole of the conference, there was an array of body weights, shapes, sizes, colors and abilities/disabilities present. I could feel the confidence and empowerment in the rooms – because nobody was expected to change their bodies. It was intoxicating! People doing great things – not just trying to fit into a narrow societal ideal. Everyone looked beautiful to me. Their brains, knowledge, experience and compassion dazzled me. I felt humbled to be in the presence of such greatness, and relieved to find others who, like me, strive to live a life of substance beyond diets.

Aaron gave a great talk as part of the closing keynote. In it, he quoted Yoda, who, in The Empire Strikes Back, says to a frustrated Luke, “Judge me by my size do you?…And well you should not…Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.”

Luminous beings are we. Yoda tells us that we are so much more than our earth suits. It is the perfect case to let go of diets to change our body size (if you’re still not buying all the scientific data). I could see the luminosity in everyone, and it was an amazing thing. This is what a world without diets and weight oppression might look and feel like.

This weekend I was surrounded by people who advocate for good health, and who know we don’t need to suffer for it. It was a heady experience. I was among my tribe and felt truly free and accepted. There was a palpable feeling in the air that we might eventually change the world for the better on a large scale. How I felt reminded me of the mantra the football players shouted before each game in one of my favorite TV shows, Friday Night Lights: “Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose!” My eyes were clear, my heart was full, and I felt like we would eventually create a world without diets for everyone.

Check out the HAES/non-diet/body positive work of these fantastic people I had the honor to hang out with this weekend:

United States:
Green Mountain at Fox Run
Nutrition Instincts
Intuitive Eating
Be Nourished
Body Peace and Liberation
Christy Harrison, RDN/Food Psych Podcast

Body Positive
HAES Coach
Judith Matz

Linda Bacon
Carmen Cool
Daxle Collier
Aaron Flores, RDN

Australia:
Body Positive Australia
Treat Yourself Well
Fresh Approach to Wellness

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